After Midnight

It's 1.30am, my favourite time to write. It's so quiet, save the sound of my husband's breathing. Which is a good thing of course. The girls are probably asleep in the living room; the growing kittens Tumas and Munee. We usually let them sleep on our bed until they get too hyper. Then it's always me who has to take them out because hubs tends to sleep like a log until Tumas wakes us both up at around 4 in the morning with her loud meow and door scratching, wanting to come in. I guess that's how it would feel when we have a baby. Sleep becomes a luxury. 

Speaking of which, I'm five months along in my pregnancy. My appetite is equivalent to a squirrel's. Deep-fried food disgusts me the most, just writing about it makes me feel nauseous. Thank goodness for the milk for pregnant women and oat. My tummy has started to grow now. So far people can't tell I'm pregnant unless I wear something smaller in which I rarely do because it's already uncomfortable as it is. I still feel bloated most of the time and even sleeping is made uncomfortable. The only consolation is I don't throw up as often as I used to so at least whatever little I manage to eat stays in. 

And myth or not, I think I may have developed the baby brain syndrome. I forget things, I can't stay focused and I seriously feel like my brain is working slower. It's like my brain is taking a break and now swinging in a hammock by some beach so whenever I need it to work, I have to pull it away and slap it out of the dreamy state. I hope my boss can tolerate this new (and hopefully temporary!) Izni.

Time to go back to sleep. I feel hungry and a little thirsty but I can't go to the kitchen, lest Tumas would hear me. That little monster can be so annoyingly loud and persistent, but I love her anyway. Already I feel like a mother, heh!

Room Service to Celebrate

Under normal circumstances, I'd have gone out to see what the locals have to offer but my morning sickness is still a friend of mine even in my second trimester so I decided to order room service instead. It's just a simple dish and juice that you can easily get from any food stalls outside at one-ninth of the price but preggy woman wants what preggy woman wants. I've been spending on average RM10 for lunch every day at work just because I can't stomach the greasy, deep-fried Malay food that I used to have before. Now it's quiche, lasagna, etc. which I didn't particularly enjoy until now. Strange things happen when you're carrying a child. 

I'm currently in a small town in Sarawak on a site visit. The road from the hotel to the site is a little bumpy so I have to lift my body most of the time because it may harm the womb. The boat trip tomorrow will be even worse and I was warned that I would get wet, but the small boat can only carry one person at a time in addition to the boatman himself so my colleague decided it's safer and practical for him to go instead while I wait on the jetty and take the measurements. The same colleague also made me declare before he booked our tickets that I would not hold him responsible should anything happen to me on this trip. The fact that our site is infested with crocodiles didn't make him any less worried but pregnant or not, I don't think the reptiles really care. Most people asked if Rafiee was alright with it but he was the one who encouraged me to go. That's my man, always with me 100%. It's like there's practically nothing that he thinks I can't do. 

Having said that, I had my doubts. This is my first pregnancy but I wouldn't know if I could handle a site visit at this stage unless I went for one so I'm glad I did and I'm grateful that everything went well today. My only regret is that I lifted my own hand luggage into the over-head compartment on the airplane because I was too proud to ask for help. What a stupid reason. Anyway, I guess that's why I don't mind ordering the over-priced dinner to be served in the comfort of my hotel room. It's like my little celebration. Maybe it's too early to celebrate considering that the hard work is not done yet, but today looked promising so I'm going tomorrow morning feeling positive.

My Favourite Time of Day

9pm onwards is the time I look forward to every single day. It's the time I love most. Yes, it's also when I'm truly and extremely exhausted and bloated but at least I'm home. At least I'm fresh from the shower and I've performed my prayer and recitation. At least I've spent quality time exchanging stories, hugs and kisses with my husband. 9pm onwards is when I lie down on the fluffy bed, turn on my laptop for some quick reads or read my monthly book and the kittens will be playing around me or taking a catnap on the same bed. Bliss. Until the morning comes.

A New HUGE Chapter

Here's why I haven't been updating my blog as often as before. And why my book is way behind schedule (but it's almost done, 5% more!).

I've been sooooo knackered. Apparently that's what happens when you're pregnant. 

Yes, you read it right. I... AM... PREGNANT! I guess when I wrote that I didn't mind getting pregnant as early as this year, God couldn't agree more. I'm now into my 14th week and I've been dying to write about my first trisemester. If only I could muster up the energy to do that. I read that usually you start feeling better in the second trisemester. I'm still waiting.

I'm going to be a mother. Can you believe that? I still can't wrap my head around the idea and I think Rafiee is still in shock too. When I first told my ayah in January, the first thing he said was "Yeah, right." I guess he too found it mind-boggling that his little girl is going to have a child of her own.

Well, you have to start somewhere.

The Trouble with the World...

"...is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."
-Bertrand Russell (18 May 1872 – 2 February 1970) 

Most people believe everything they read or hear, don't they? Like Facebook is closing down or a so-called religious ritual to get a spouse heard from some ustaz of dubious credibility or a minister's wife buying a million dollar handbag read on a blog, etc. Come on people, do some research first before you start spreading the news that only makes you look ignorant and downright silly. Sorry for my harsh words, I guess I just got sick of those posts that are sprouting like mushrooms after the rain but I don't want to sound like a snob by pointing it out to the particular individual. This is just to rant so that my husband's ears don't bleed from listening to it. If only everyone takes their time to question and research instead of taking things at face value, we can all achieve great things in life together.

A Working Adult's Guide

This has to be the easiest way to get the five daily servings of vegetables and fruits - smoothies! You can basically throw in any fruits or vegetables that your heart desires but of course fruits with a high water content and green vegetables are recommended for better results. In the photo above, I used the following:

125 ml yogurt drink

250 ml low fat & high calcium milk

1 pear

1 apple

2 bananas

A handful of spinach

A handful of cereal & nuts

1 scoop of protein powder

The ingredients produce 900 ml of smoothies so that will last me one whole day at work. It only takes about ten minutes to make it so it's perfect for a lazy busy working adult like yours truly.

In and Out of Love

Before you start assuming that the title refers to my marriage in any way, stop! Rafiee and I are happier with each passing day. Still giggly like on our first date almost six years ago, still madly in love like the newlyweds three years back and in sync like an old couple. Alhamdulillah and insyaAllah we'll keep improving from this point on. In fact, this matter wouldn't cross my mind if not for some divorces going on around me including celebrity couples that I think are too sweet to be separated.

Why does it happen? There can be so many reasons and they may differ from one couple to another. We just try to do our best and trust that whatever happens has a good reason. How to maintain a happy relationship? Well, google it and you'll get endless sources but it doesn't matter how many books you read; if you don't practice then you're only wasting your time. Being married for only three years doesn't grant me the right to say that I've got it all figured out but to me, the key is being able to communicate and screaming doesn't count. People stop listening when they're being yelled at. Of course if one partner refuses to communicate then there will already be trouble in paradise but that's the thing. Marriage takes two people to make it work so when at least one stops trying, then that's the end of the road for them.

Everyone in their right mind enters marriage with the best intentions but it doesn't always work out. You just have to try your best to make informed decisions every time - to marry or not (we dated for three years before tying the knot), to tell your secrets or not (Rafiee and I do, it's easier to live together without having to cover up), to have a baby immediately or not (a child is a huge responsibility so I personally would like to make sure we have spent enough time with each other before we both start focusing on another person), to fight over issue A or not (very subjective but we always try not to drag any issue for more than a day) and well you get the idea. A healthy relationship is supposed to make you happier, calmer, safer and better. If you can't find this in yours, then sometimes letting go is the best you can do for both of you.