So Many Things, So Little Time

I've been so busy with the book I haven't had time to blog. So here's a quick update. The manuscript is now being proofread and edited by a native English speaker. I'm hoping to get it printed and promoted somewhere in July. I'm so excited to be very involved in publishing my book as I'm learning so many things - new skills, software and knowledge. Gosh, I'm such a nerd. Pregnancy-wise, I've completed my second trimester and now I feel like I'm running out of time. I still have no idea how to change a diaper or breastfeed or burp a baby or the most important part for me, how to train the baby to sleep when I want to sleep. Ha-hah! And I'm starting to get the jitters of giving birth so I need to equip myself (and Rafiee too, but first I have to convince him to join me in the delivery room!) with everything that we should know. I've finished a book on it but I still feel it's insufficient. We also need to get all those baby stuff soon. It was only last week that I started buying maternity clothes and I'm so stressed out as I only got two that I like (and one of them takes ages to iron!). Shopping really is a waste of time and energy. Alright, have to go and check if online shopping is a better idea.

Book is Coming... Sooner or Later

Here's the thing. I've finished editing my book and I approached a few publishers (not all, as most make it clear that they only publish Malay novels). I was given the same reply though - that an English novel by an unknown Malaysian author generally doesn't sell. One even told me that I can publish the book when I become famous. I guess if it was authored by Kim Kardashian then they wouldn't even read the manuscript before agreeing to invest in it. Money makes the world go round which is true to a certain degree so I can totally understand their standpoint. Of course I couldn't help feeling defeated in the beginning, but not for long. I got to meet a few aspiring and also published writers who told me how they struggled for the first few years. FEW YEARS! I've been trying to get my book published for just a couple of MONTHS! 

I will still get the book published. It may take some time (but still within this year Insya Allah), a few thousand RM (everything requires money these days), energy and time, but I will get it published. If there were only five strangers buying the book because they think it's worth getting then I would've already achieved my goal.

After Midnight

It's 1.30am, my favourite time to write. It's so quiet, save the sound of my husband's breathing. Which is a good thing of course. The girls are probably asleep in the living room; the growing kittens Tumas and Munee. We usually let them sleep on our bed until they get too hyper. Then it's always me who has to take them out because hubs tends to sleep like a log until Tumas wakes us both up at around 4 in the morning with her loud meow and door scratching, wanting to come in. I guess that's how it would feel when we have a baby. Sleep becomes a luxury. 

Speaking of which, I'm five months along in my pregnancy. My appetite is equivalent to a squirrel's. Deep-fried food disgusts me the most, just writing about it makes me feel nauseous. Thank goodness for the milk for pregnant women and oat. My tummy has started to grow now. So far people can't tell I'm pregnant unless I wear something smaller in which I rarely do because it's already uncomfortable as it is. I still feel bloated most of the time and even sleeping is made uncomfortable. The only consolation is I don't throw up as often as I used to so at least whatever little I manage to eat stays in. 

And myth or not, I think I may have developed the baby brain syndrome. I forget things, I can't stay focused and I seriously feel like my brain is working slower. It's like my brain is taking a break and now swinging in a hammock by some beach so whenever I need it to work, I have to pull it away and slap it out of the dreamy state. I hope my boss can tolerate this new (and hopefully temporary!) Izni.

Time to go back to sleep. I feel hungry and a little thirsty but I can't go to the kitchen, lest Tumas would hear me. That little monster can be so annoyingly loud and persistent, but I love her anyway. Already I feel like a mother, heh!

Room Service to Celebrate

Under normal circumstances, I'd have gone out to see what the locals have to offer but my morning sickness is still a friend of mine even in my second trimester so I decided to order room service instead. It's just a simple dish and juice that you can easily get from any food stalls outside at one-ninth of the price but preggy woman wants what preggy woman wants. I've been spending on average RM10 for lunch every day at work just because I can't stomach the greasy, deep-fried Malay food that I used to have before. Now it's quiche, lasagna, etc. which I didn't particularly enjoy until now. Strange things happen when you're carrying a child. 

I'm currently in a small town in Sarawak on a site visit. The road from the hotel to the site is a little bumpy so I have to lift my body most of the time because it may harm the womb. The boat trip tomorrow will be even worse and I was warned that I would get wet, but the small boat can only carry one person at a time in addition to the boatman himself so my colleague decided it's safer and practical for him to go instead while I wait on the jetty and take the measurements. The same colleague also made me declare before he booked our tickets that I would not hold him responsible should anything happen to me on this trip. The fact that our site is infested with crocodiles didn't make him any less worried but pregnant or not, I don't think the reptiles really care. Most people asked if Rafiee was alright with it but he was the one who encouraged me to go. That's my man, always with me 100%. It's like there's practically nothing that he thinks I can't do. 

Having said that, I had my doubts. This is my first pregnancy but I wouldn't know if I could handle a site visit at this stage unless I went for one so I'm glad I did and I'm grateful that everything went well today. My only regret is that I lifted my own hand luggage into the over-head compartment on the airplane because I was too proud to ask for help. What a stupid reason. Anyway, I guess that's why I don't mind ordering the over-priced dinner to be served in the comfort of my hotel room. It's like my little celebration. Maybe it's too early to celebrate considering that the hard work is not done yet, but today looked promising so I'm going tomorrow morning feeling positive.

My Favourite Time of Day

9pm onwards is the time I look forward to every single day. It's the time I love most. Yes, it's also when I'm truly and extremely exhausted and bloated but at least I'm home. At least I'm fresh from the shower and I've performed my prayer and recitation. At least I've spent quality time exchanging stories, hugs and kisses with my husband. 9pm onwards is when I lie down on the fluffy bed, turn on my laptop for some quick reads or read my monthly book and the kittens will be playing around me or taking a catnap on the same bed. Bliss. Until the morning comes.

A New HUGE Chapter

Here's why I haven't been updating my blog as often as before. And why my book is way behind schedule (but it's almost done, 5% more!).

I've been sooooo knackered. Apparently that's what happens when you're pregnant. 

Yes, you read it right. I... AM... PREGNANT! I guess when I wrote that I didn't mind getting pregnant as early as this year, God couldn't agree more. I'm now into my 14th week and I've been dying to write about my first trisemester. If only I could muster up the energy to do that. I read that usually you start feeling better in the second trisemester. I'm still waiting.

I'm going to be a mother. Can you believe that? I still can't wrap my head around the idea and I think Rafiee is still in shock too. When I first told my ayah in January, the first thing he said was "Yeah, right." I guess he too found it mind-boggling that his little girl is going to have a child of her own.

Well, you have to start somewhere.

The Trouble with the World...

"...is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."
-Bertrand Russell (18 May 1872 – 2 February 1970) 

Most people believe everything they read or hear, don't they? Like Facebook is closing down or a so-called religious ritual to get a spouse heard from some ustaz of dubious credibility or a minister's wife buying a million dollar handbag read on a blog, etc. Come on people, do some research first before you start spreading the news that only makes you look ignorant and downright silly. Sorry for my harsh words, I guess I just got sick of those posts that are sprouting like mushrooms after the rain but I don't want to sound like a snob by pointing it out to the particular individual. This is just to rant so that my husband's ears don't bleed from listening to it. If only everyone takes their time to question and research instead of taking things at face value, we can all achieve great things in life together.