Our right neighbour is a single woman in her late 30s (I'll dedicate a post for our left neighbour one day...and also for our neighbours in Nice, Newcastle and Fredensborg). We know this because she came over twice about some plumbing problem. She also told us to install a filter to avoid clogging pipes.
A few days ago I started to hear a man's deep voice coming from her apartment. I thought it was her new boyfriend. She started to sing along to the radio too. "Must be one hell of a guy to make a girl sing like that", I thought to myself. But later there were more voices, another man's and woman's. Now I honestly think they're all her family members and they're visiting for Christmas. She had her plumbing problem sorted out the day before they got here. She was definitely excited to have them and the funny thing is, I am too.
So these few days I've been waking up to people chatting and laughing as early as six in the morning. The wall is thin, noted. The happy sound reminds me of home. You know how during Eid you have to stay in a kampung house with your smoking uncles, gossipy aunties and snoring cousins. I would get grumpy and irritated for not getting proper sleep, but now that exact resonance comforts me. For a few moments there I imagine I'm home.
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
Monday, 20 December 2010
Citizen of the World
I used to be naive when it comes to making contributions to my beloved country. I thought the only way of doing that was by working for the government and trying to change the system. Right, as if I was some Mahatma Gandhi. But I have hopes.
My mama who's in the government told me to stop thinking at the micro level. People can actually contribute and sometimes even more significantly when they're abroad. Don't tell me that correcting outsiders' negative perceptions on the country or gaining expertise and contacts that the country needs is not 'berbakti'. I know a lot of people who think that you have to return to the country and stay put as a responsibility to give back and I agree if they're talking about some selfish money / status driven or ignorant compatriots who don't want to have anything to do with the country (who you can easily find in our local offices anyway). But we're all citizens of the world. Without border. It's a cycle with domino effect. People who think otherwise can just stay inside their own world in silence and denial.
My mama who's in the government told me to stop thinking at the micro level. People can actually contribute and sometimes even more significantly when they're abroad. Don't tell me that correcting outsiders' negative perceptions on the country or gaining expertise and contacts that the country needs is not 'berbakti'. I know a lot of people who think that you have to return to the country and stay put as a responsibility to give back and I agree if they're talking about some selfish money / status driven or ignorant compatriots who don't want to have anything to do with the country (who you can easily find in our local offices anyway). But we're all citizens of the world. Without border. It's a cycle with domino effect. People who think otherwise can just stay inside their own world in silence and denial.
Friday, 17 December 2010
Post-Semester Brain Cleaning
And so today marks the end of my third semester. I've submitted all six coursework as follows:
1) Advanced ADCP Data Analysis
Well, this was given out in September but it was tricky so it took me months to finish. Boo!2) Analysis of Groins in a River Reach
Groins, heeeee. Okay, so this one was straightforward so I had fun.3) Estimation of Sediment Discharge
Missed the lecture the week when my mama and sis came to Budapest so I was really lost. Oh well, it was worth it. Spending time with family or working? No rocket science there.4) Wind-Induced Flow in a Shallow Lake
My assigned coursework for the final presentation. I did more than needed so more thought provoking questions during the presentation. But like I always said, if you have it easy, then you're not pushing the envelope.5) Flooding of a Floodplain
The easiest one. Guess who picked the subject? That psychopath. It was obvious that she didn't know what she was talking about. What can you do eh, it's not really my place to say anything.6) Wave Measurement Analysis and Prediction
Tough one. The last coursework that I put together which was this morning. I'm feeling many things right now.
I feel relieved that I've completed my work and I have a place for my professional practice this March while most of my coursemates are still struggling. Alhamdulillah.
I feel bad because I've just realised that Rafiee could've joined me in this program with a reduced fee. Stupid stupid stupid Izni for not realising the loophole sooner! But there's always a reason for everything and maybe we can't see it now, but God knows better.
I feel confused because we have a number of plans after this program and a lot of work for each of them but I don't want to be inclined towards a particular direction because if that doesn't work out then I may get disappointed. But actually, isn't that what life is about? Learning and growing? I should worry less.
I feel bitter about the psychopath. I don't know where to begin but perhaps I should let it go because I won't be seeing her again for a while. Besides, I learned that there are always people like this. It's just whether you can see them and what you're going to do about it. It's not like me to ignore such thing but if my humble experience is anything to go by, losing a battle doesn't mean losing the war.
Alright, I have to go for my online group meeting now. We have to be in Nice for two weeks in February and get together to finalise the whole project. 10 teams, 105 participants coming from different corners of the world, one project.
Let's hope no more evil force, please please pleaseeee.
Thursday, 16 December 2010
What Goes Around Comes Around
There's a sick girl in my class. This article here describes her better than my own words.
She reminds me of the children in the movies like Orphan, Case 39 and Omen. People usually see them as normal kids but only a very lucky few (or unlucky, depends on how you see it) get to see the real devil nestled behind that calm pair of eyes.
In my case, the girl also uses other people's work and claim it to be hers. If anything happens to me, this blog entry is a testament that I (and a few others) know the truth about her.
The psychopath is one of the most fascinating and distressing problems of human experience. For the most part, a psychopath never remains attached to anyone or anything. They live a "predatory" lifestyle. They feel little or no regret, and little or no remorse - except when they are caught. They need relationships, but see people as obstacles to overcome and be eliminated. If not, they see people in terms of how they can be used. They use people for stimulation, to build their self-esteem and they invariably value people in terms of their material value (money, property, etc..).
A psychopath can have high verbal intelligence, but they typically lack "emotional intelligence". They can be expert in manipulating others by playing to their emotions. There is a shallow quality to the emotional aspect of their stories (i.e., how they felt, why they felt that way, or how others may have felt and why). The lack of emotional intelligence is the first good sign you may be dealing with a psychopath. A history of criminal behavior in which they do not seem to learn from their experience, but merely think about ways to not get caught is the second best sign.
The following is a list of items based on the research of Robert Hare, Ph.D. which is derived from the "The Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised, .1991, Toronto: Multi-Health Systems." These are the most highly researched and recognized characteristics of psychopathic personality and behavior.
* glibness/superficial charm
* grandiose sense of self worth
* need for stimulation/prone to boredom
* pathological lying
* conning/manipulative
* lack of remorse or guilt
* shallow emotional response
* callous/lack of empathy
* parasitic lifestyle
* poor behavioral controls
* promiscuous sexual behavior
* early behavioral problems
* lack of realistic long term goals
* impulsivity
* irresponsibility
* failure to accept responsibility for their own actions
* many short term relationships
* juvenile delinquency
* revocation of conditional release
* criminal versatility
Source: http://www.oregoncounseling.org/Handouts/PsychopathicPersonality.htm
Sunday, 12 December 2010
Every Ending is a New Beginning
Walking down the mall, a place so comfortable but with different faces, I can't help but feel...urm, foreign. Sometimes I long to feel the familiarity of The Curve or One Utama where people never really study me. I now know how it feels to be those white expats in Malaysia, being stared at constantly. I remember having a French teacher and I was so star-struck that I wanted to know everything about her as if she was the last French in the world.
Months later, I moved to the South of France and stayed for six months where I even argued with the locals. That place will always remains special to me as it was my first home abroad. France...simply romantic. And Paris is indeed la ville de l'amour. It's like Edith Piaf's La Vie En Rose keeps playing in the background there.
Next was the North of England. People think highly of the kingdom and some of my friends who studied in the UK act like they're up in the hierarchy just because they used to live there (even though the truth is they only hung out with fellow Malaysians). On the first day, I excitedly greeted a couple of Malaysians but they didn't even ask my name. On the second day, I knew why. There are so many Malaysians in the UK that if you were to have a meaningful conversation with every Malaysian you meet on the way to school, you may not get to school at all.
Everywhere I go, I get more smiles from the Chinese for obvious reasons. One time there was a huge Chinese tour group and one of them was calling me as if to say "Come back inside the group you lost girl, you're going to miss the flight back to Beijing!". But yeah, I personally want to see Yunan one day where a part of my family started.
And when most of my classmates were thrilled to go home for the summer, I was packing to Denmark for an internship. We were living in an old town in Nice, a dodgy students' neighbourhood in Newcastle and a lovely village with mostly old people who said hi to us all the time in Fredensborg. While I'm definitely grateful for the opportunities given, I can do without the yearning for home.
Now we're in Budapest in Central Europe where prostitution is legal. I think there's less than 10 Malaysians in Hungary so when the Malaysian Embassy people found us, it was like dicovering unexpected survivors in a midst of zombie infection. The downside is, the homesickness easily creeps in.
Perhaps this is due to our nomadic lifestyle. We have never stayed in one place for more than six months. Even after we got married, we lived together in a lovely apartment close to my parents only for five months before we had to leave for France. In a lot of ways, we're still newlyweds. We haven't actually settled down and developed a routine.
In eight months, we'll be back in Malaysia which is both delightful and confusing. We could be staying in Kuala Lumpur for a couple of years before embarking on another adventure abroad, or we could be moving immediately to another country for a few years. People will ask how have the years been and we will be speechless because there's nothing we can say that could capture exactly what we've been through.
In eight months, Rafiee and I could be at a mamak stall having fried char kuew teow talking about the many places we've been together, the interesting people we've encountered and how we have changed in ways people may not notice. We'll probably talk about chillblains once in a while.
But that's life. I couldn't have picked a better motto for my blog to remind me over the years that every ending is yet another beginning.
Months later, I moved to the South of France and stayed for six months where I even argued with the locals. That place will always remains special to me as it was my first home abroad. France...simply romantic. And Paris is indeed la ville de l'amour. It's like Edith Piaf's La Vie En Rose keeps playing in the background there.
Next was the North of England. People think highly of the kingdom and some of my friends who studied in the UK act like they're up in the hierarchy just because they used to live there (even though the truth is they only hung out with fellow Malaysians). On the first day, I excitedly greeted a couple of Malaysians but they didn't even ask my name. On the second day, I knew why. There are so many Malaysians in the UK that if you were to have a meaningful conversation with every Malaysian you meet on the way to school, you may not get to school at all.
Everywhere I go, I get more smiles from the Chinese for obvious reasons. One time there was a huge Chinese tour group and one of them was calling me as if to say "Come back inside the group you lost girl, you're going to miss the flight back to Beijing!". But yeah, I personally want to see Yunan one day where a part of my family started.
And when most of my classmates were thrilled to go home for the summer, I was packing to Denmark for an internship. We were living in an old town in Nice, a dodgy students' neighbourhood in Newcastle and a lovely village with mostly old people who said hi to us all the time in Fredensborg. While I'm definitely grateful for the opportunities given, I can do without the yearning for home.
Now we're in Budapest in Central Europe where prostitution is legal. I think there's less than 10 Malaysians in Hungary so when the Malaysian Embassy people found us, it was like dicovering unexpected survivors in a midst of zombie infection. The downside is, the homesickness easily creeps in.
Perhaps this is due to our nomadic lifestyle. We have never stayed in one place for more than six months. Even after we got married, we lived together in a lovely apartment close to my parents only for five months before we had to leave for France. In a lot of ways, we're still newlyweds. We haven't actually settled down and developed a routine.
In eight months, we'll be back in Malaysia which is both delightful and confusing. We could be staying in Kuala Lumpur for a couple of years before embarking on another adventure abroad, or we could be moving immediately to another country for a few years. People will ask how have the years been and we will be speechless because there's nothing we can say that could capture exactly what we've been through.
In eight months, Rafiee and I could be at a mamak stall having fried char kuew teow talking about the many places we've been together, the interesting people we've encountered and how we have changed in ways people may not notice. We'll probably talk about chillblains once in a while.
But that's life. I couldn't have picked a better motto for my blog to remind me over the years that every ending is yet another beginning.
Monday, 6 December 2010
What Happened on a Winter's Night
I have another presentation tomorrow and thought that I would take another look at the related journal paper in front of the idiot box. The Travel Channel was on which is my favourite and it was a 3-part of culinary travel in Malaysia! It reminded me of how proud I am to be a Malaysian. We have so many colours and cultures, beautiful exotic destinations and our food is simply the greatest. Well, I may be biased but even the English host agreed. I wish I could be a travel host, being paid to travel and eat. Now I can't focus on my paper anymore because I'm missing home. Thanks a lot Travel Channel.
I got chilblains. Don't worry, I didn't know that word either until recently. According to my favourite source (read: Wikipedia), Chilblains (also known as pernio and perniosis) is a medical condition that is often confused with frostbite and trench foot. Chilblains are acral ulcers (that is, ulcers affecting the extremities) that occur when a predisposed individual is exposed to cold and humidity. The cold exposure damages capillary beds in the skin, which in turn can cause redness, itching, blisters, and inflammation.
Still confused? Well, it looks like this.
Gross, isn't it? I did warn you. Well, you probably saw that photo even before you started reading anyway.
All my ten toes are swollen and so itchy it makes me feel like biting them off. I found a few home remedies but they all seemed so messy except for one; onion. To my hubby's horror, I cut a raw onion and started to rub it all over my toes. It felt so gooooood. Then I soaked my onion-smelling feet in hot water with salt and after 20 minutes, they still look red but less swollen and no itching at all! Amazing what you can do with onion, water and salt.
I'm off to bed now. Love knows no boundaries and Rafiee is cool with it provided I wash my feet after my little home remedy and wear really, really thick socks. Yeah, I love you too hubs.
Skip the rest of this entry if you get disgusted easily.
I got chilblains. Don't worry, I didn't know that word either until recently. According to my favourite source (read: Wikipedia), Chilblains (also known as pernio and perniosis) is a medical condition that is often confused with frostbite and trench foot. Chilblains are acral ulcers (that is, ulcers affecting the extremities) that occur when a predisposed individual is exposed to cold and humidity. The cold exposure damages capillary beds in the skin, which in turn can cause redness, itching, blisters, and inflammation.
Still confused? Well, it looks like this.
Gross, isn't it? I did warn you. Well, you probably saw that photo even before you started reading anyway.
All my ten toes are swollen and so itchy it makes me feel like biting them off. I found a few home remedies but they all seemed so messy except for one; onion. To my hubby's horror, I cut a raw onion and started to rub it all over my toes. It felt so gooooood. Then I soaked my onion-smelling feet in hot water with salt and after 20 minutes, they still look red but less swollen and no itching at all! Amazing what you can do with onion, water and salt.
I'm off to bed now. Love knows no boundaries and Rafiee is cool with it provided I wash my feet after my little home remedy and wear really, really thick socks. Yeah, I love you too hubs.
Saturday, 4 December 2010
Ting! A Reminder
"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." - Dalai Lama
A friend who goes by the name of Zue posted this on Facebook a few days ago and it was so timely. I was feeling selfishly frustrated over some of my friends' fascination in travelling just so they could go shopping! I was like, "You've saved that much to go to a really interesting country just to spend that money in buying shoes because they're cheaper there?! And your only regret is that you didn't buy a year's worth of clothes?!". I felt like banging my head to the wall because it seemed to me the dumbest thing ever. Well, after war. Hubs, my better half, asked me one question that immediately snapped me back to reality; "Well don't you think they might think the same about your fascination with history and nature?". And I realised how ignorant I was for thinking that way. People find bliss in different things and just because they don't share the same sentiment as another does, that doesn't mean one is better than the other. Of course, it doesn't work that way in politics. But in real life, it wouldn't be as fun if everyone was alike. So this is not preaching, it's simply a note to self.
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