Time and Tide Wait for No Man

A rainy day puts a bright smile on my face. It would be more wonderful if there were thunder and lightning but thunderstorm is rare here. I used to be afraid of the thunder when I was a child. It sounded like a monster on its way to get me and it always gave me a jolt. Then my parents taught me that thunder and lightning happen at the same time but as light travels faster than sound, people see the lightning flash before they hear the thunder. So I started counting to three whenever I saw a lightning because that was how long it usually took before I could hear the roaring thunder. Even as an adult, sometimes I find myself counting when a thunderstorm hits because it calms me. Listening to the wind and trees brushing against each other only makes it better. It's like a lullaby. Too bad I'm often at work when that happens.

Hubs and I haven't travelled in a while since I started my job. Now I remember what it was like when we were both working and the weekends were spent at our parents'. I also remember my peers making a fuss over some bonus. I remember thinking that I would leave my job if someday I found myself working with only money as my motivation. It's probably a naive thought but I want to hold on to it as long as I could. I already miss the past one and a half years when I didn't have to leave the house most mornings and we travelled to almost 20 countries. The strangers we encountered and the little anecdotes when we least expected them. I suppose that's why I'm writing the book. I want to immortalise the memories I have floating in my mind before new ones slowly bury them as I age because they are simply priceless. 

Life really is a cycle, like those pollens. I miss the present. I always did and I always will.

Price Tag

m.a.r.k.e.t.i.n.g a.n.d f.a.s.h.i.o.n

Why do most people care so much about brands? Is it an indication of civilisation? Or a measurement of self-esteem? Or genuinely because the quality / design is way better?

The obsession has become so absurd that people post photos of themselves carrying shopping bags displaying top labels and buying things only when the brands are brightly visible for people within a 10-metre radius. I once dated this fellow who only frequented designer stores and we often hung out with his similar type of friends. I found it extremely funny that they only went to these specific stores and then complained how ridiculous the prices were like a RM70 plain white cotton t-shirt. Isn't that just plain silly? I laugh watching them but I can't help thinking that maybe I'm on the wrong side of the gate. Maybe I should care more but I just can't see it. Maybe one day I will realise what I'm missing out, but if the day never comes, I won't cry myself to sleep.

A Bird...A Plane...It's Superwoman!

I took an hour nap, probably longer. And I had this weird, creepy nightmare. I can still recall fragments here and there like a dancing clown couple and peeing all over my pants which didn't make much sense but left me feeling unsettled.

Ever since hubs told me that the scary Indonesian mask our landlady has hanging in the corridor just outside our room gives him the creeps, I find myself trying hard to look away on my way back from the bathroom. Now that he's asleep, I'm too scared to go. Think I'll have to wait until morning which is five hours away. Haish Rafiee, why did you have to say such things?! Some things are better left unsaid.

I switched on my laptop, checked who's online on Skype so I won't feel alone and started writing. I write best around this time of night. It's so... quiet. Also because hubs is in dreamland or else he'll be all over my shoulder to see what I'm writing about. Sweet lad, he's been my loyal reader for years. Since I talk too much around him, you'd think he's tired of knowing every single thing on my mind. A tip for happy marriage? Marry your best friend.

An old friend of mine on Facebook keeps preaching how to raise your kid. She's a housewife and she makes it clear repeatedly that staying home and watching every single movement of her son are the happiest moment as a mother, making it seem like career moms are bad. It's the same woman who posted about how her two-year-old boy loved breastfeeding so much... vividly! Gave me a disturbing image that took ages to get rid of only to be constantly reminded on Facebook. I should've hidden all her posts.

I like working moms. I think they empower their kids. Mama is one. She's a respected iron lady who can crush any bull coming her way. She was away for one year when she was sent to another state, coming home only every other weekend. My Ayah was the one encouraging her. They were best friends too, and still are. I should be ruined according to this mantra of my friend but look at me, I grew up just fine and I'm really close to my Mama. If anything, she drives me to be a super mom myself. 

Luckily I have more friends who are juggling work / study / both and family, these ladies are inspiring. I don't know if I can pull it through when my time comes. I get grumpy even when I don't get eight hours of sleep! But you know what? I think we all tend to underestimate our capability until we're cornered. Then when you set your mind to something, you can do basically anything. No excuses.

l.i.v.i.n.g l.i.f.e a.s i s.e.e f.i.t

Enough rambling for one night. I'm going straight to bed and pretend I didn't just drink one whole glass of milk that needs to be digested.

Pollen

The office is nestled in trees like in a small forest. Looking out the window, I can see pollens in the air, the main cause of hay fever. They get into your nose, ears and sometimes eyes, making you sneeze and cough like there's no tomorrow. At the same time I love watching them. They float and dance in sync with the wind. They will find a new home to settle and grow until someday, they are ready to produce new pollens that will set off on their own adventure.

The photos, however, are irrelevant. I just thought it's a lovely view on a lazy weekend doing nothing without feeling bored. Taking naps and waking up whenever you feel like it, eating a traditional Danish cake on the bed, smelling the wet soil after a fresh spring rain, switching TV channels with crisps and tea within your reach and basically doing whatever you feel like it like writing about pollens just because you want to. Right now real life and commitments seem so far away.

And well, I'm not complaining.

When My Fingers Do The Talking

I miss being settled down. Hubs and I haven't been in the same place for more than six months. It has been really fun playing boyfriend / girlfriend but now I want to be in my own place with my own sketches framed on the wall and planting my own flowers. I didn't even like flowers, sigh.

I mean, I haven't bought a book in almost two years and back home, I have my mini library at the corner of the living room waiting, and collecting dust in the process, to be extended. I've read so many books throughout the years but they were either online or borrowed from libraries in various parts of Europe. How else can I maintain my 20 kg limit of luggage?

I know I sound like an ungrateful homo sapiens. I guess I just need to vent like most personal bloggers. I've stopped using social networking sites to do that because honestly, who cares? Weeks ago I found myself watching a movie before checking on Facebook which was bizarre considering how addicted I was to the website for years. I realised that I only like reading informative posts so now I only skim instead of reading one by one like I used to. I remind myself to only post what people can benefit from and so this blog is my only channel to be self-absorbed. Ha-hah!

On a positive note, the weekend has been wonderful with the sun out at 18 Celsius. Hubs and I biked along the coast until 7.30 pm. Biking is one of the sports you can do without feeling like a chore. At least for me, running is a duty that I enjoy at the end of the session but dread before it even starts. I think I'm going to buy a bike when I get home. And books. Lots of them.

Bruised, Scratched and Cold...

...but I'm a happy camper. I haven't had such a productive weekend in ages. Saturday morning started with gardening and polishing my new old bike loaned by my kind landlady. It's a tall bike but I thought I could use it to bike from and to work because I need the exercise. I may weight between 44 kg (in the morning) and 46 kg (after a huge meal) but my flabs can be deceiving. So later in the afternoon, hubs and I biked 12 km to the office for a test-drive. I used my high heels to reach the pedals but my butt still hurts as I write this. On top of that, I fell off my bike on the pavement and bruised and scratched my palms and my right shoulder and leg. Needless to say, I'm sticking to the bus and will only use the bike on weekends.

This morning, still sore but excited to use the free train since it's the first Sunday of the month, hubs and I took the bus to the train station. There was a huge flea market there so we had to stop and look. They were selling so many items that I thought were not meant to be sold at least in the presence of children like creepy preserved squirrels and exotic naked portraits to name a few. We met up with a friend at the art museum of Ny Carlsberg Glyptotek for the free Sunday admission (don't we all love the word free?) and I have to admit it has been some time since I visited a museum that I forgot I actually love being in one. I think I even prefer museums to shopping malls.

Afterwards we met up with another two friends at the central train station and headed to the asian markets to get spices and cooking sauces. Then we went to have our late lunch in a really nice Indian restaurant. In Copenhagen, most buffets seem cheap but you're required to buy a drink which usually costs half of the buffet price. In this Indian restaurant however, everything was included and the food was marvellous. It healed my homesickness.

There was a pilgrim march nearby in conjunction with the labour day but since there were so many drunked crowds, we skipped that and headed home instead in the rain. Oh, I was silly to think that the morning sun would last that I didn't bring any jacket but our friends were so kind that they lent me theirs. I have to hit the sack in an hour and even though my work bag is not yet packed and my attire for tomorrow is not yet sorted, I can start my Monday ravished with delight as my weekend has been abundant. Until next time, have a beautiful and efficient week ahead!