I took an hour nap, probably longer. And I had this weird, creepy nightmare. I can still recall fragments here and there like a dancing clown couple and peeing all over my pants which didn't make much sense but left me feeling unsettled.
Ever since hubs told me that the scary Indonesian mask our landlady has hanging in the corridor just outside our room gives him the creeps, I find myself trying hard to look away on my way back from the bathroom. Now that he's asleep, I'm too scared to go. Think I'll have to wait until morning which is five hours away. Haish Rafiee, why did you have to say such things?! Some things are better left unsaid.
I switched on my laptop, checked who's online on Skype so I won't feel alone and started writing. I write best around this time of night. It's so... quiet. Also because hubs is in dreamland or else he'll be all over my shoulder to see what I'm writing about. Sweet lad, he's been my loyal reader for years. Since I talk too much around him, you'd think he's tired of knowing every single thing on my mind. A tip for happy marriage? Marry your best friend.
An old friend of mine on Facebook keeps preaching how to raise your kid. She's a housewife and she makes it clear repeatedly that staying home and watching every single movement of her son are the happiest moment as a mother, making it seem like career moms are bad. It's the same woman who posted about how her two-year-old boy loved breastfeeding so much... vividly! Gave me a disturbing image that took ages to get rid of only to be constantly reminded on Facebook. I should've hidden all her posts.
I like working moms. I think they empower their kids. Mama is one. She's a respected iron lady who can crush any bull coming her way. She was away for one year when she was sent to another state, coming home only every other weekend. My Ayah was the one encouraging her. They were best friends too, and still are. I should be ruined according to this mantra of my friend but look at me, I grew up just fine and I'm really close to my Mama. If anything, she drives me to be a super mom myself.
Luckily I have more friends who are juggling work / study / both and family, these ladies are inspiring. I don't know if I can pull it through when my time comes. I get grumpy even when I don't get eight hours of sleep! But you know what? I think we all tend to underestimate our capability until we're cornered. Then when you set your mind to something, you can do basically anything. No excuses.
Enough rambling for one night. I'm going straight to bed and pretend I didn't just drink one whole glass of milk that needs to be digested.
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